You’ve probably realized by now that Mid life is a topic I am passionate about. Yes, I know, the physical aspects of aging are less than desirable. I’ll give you that. But isn’t this an exciting junction where we find ourselves? Old enough to know our way around this life, yet young enough to still make an impact. Wisdom and perspective, let’s hope, have become our companions by now. But with added perspective comes something else that may not always sit easily: added understanding of mistakes we made along the way.
Some mistakes have been harmless enough; a whimsical smile may come to our face as we recall them. Perhaps we’re even glad they happened because of ways they helped us grow. Other mistakes may not be remembered with such ease; perhaps we recall them with sadness, or even regret. (Have you ever known someone who says they have no regrets… Seriously? Do people really feel this way?) Missed opportunities. People we loved, but hurt. Endless are the possibilities of things we did when we were younger, stronger, but not so wise. Now here’s a tough one: a mistake which produced a consequence we are still living with. While this is hard, we make it harder if we beat up on ourselves for it. Looking back, we may think that others figured out life quicker and better than we did, and then we ask ourselves, “Why didn’t I know better? What was wrong with me?”
While we may feel alone in our history of royal mess-ups, I think a more accurate view is that everyone around us experiences these same thoughts. Knowing this does bring comfort. But I recently discovered another avenue of thought that has made even more of a difference for me. I found it in a poem written by a friend, which I am happy to share here, with her permission:
A New Beginning
Every day’s a new beginning
of a story yet untold
as we gaze upon the pages
of our lives as they unfold.
Have we learned much from the chapters
that we’ve already read?
Do they tend to hold us back
or help us move straight ahead?
I’ve heard it said that life is like a school
and we’ll succeed if we follow every rule
but some doors will only open
with the errors that we make,
and sometimes the greatest lessons
come with making great mistakes!
…and everything that we’ve been thru
has created who we are,
we can see ourselves a failure
or be a shining star…
But no matter what we choose to be
it’s never etched in stone,
‘cuz every day’s a new beginning
with a story of its own!
-Janis Tara
To know that I’ve grown from my mistakes helps me find acceptance. But to think that doors actually opened because of them? That they served a real purpose in positive outcomes in my life? Now that’s empowering! Now I see that they helped make me who I am.
The point of life is not to be blameless. The point is to keep evolving into something better. If we learn from our mistakes then apply what we learn going forward, what more can be asked of us? Perhaps, to try and share what we’ve learned with the younger ones behind us… Save them some trouble. Spare them some pain. But of course, we realize, this will not always work. Some things they will be determined to learn for themselves – just like we did.
cindylcaruso.com 