If you’ve seen the 1989 movie Parenthood, which starred Steve Martin, you know what a fun and entertaining movie it is! A favorite scene of mine is when Helen, played by Dianne Wiest, witnesses a blow-up between her young, unruly, newly married daughter and her son-in-law, and in the process finds out she’s going to be a grandma. It’s one of those awkward family moments made even more uncomfortable by the presence of her gentleman friend who has just escorted her home from their first date. He’s seems unphased though and asks a question, which really, is a statement: “You’re going to be a grandma?” Helen replies, sort of chuckling, “No, I’m too young. No, grandmas are old. They bake and they sew, and they tell you stories about the Depression.” Getting worked up, she continues with emphasis, “I was at Woodstock. (shouting now) I peed in a field! I hung on to The Who’s helicopter as it flew away!”
“I was at Woodstock” he replies.
“Oh yeah!” retorts Helen, bracing herself with a drink. “I thought you looked familiar!”

I recall it was the 80s when I began noticing older members our generation expressing, “Wow, we’re really getting older” sentiments. Boy, have we come a long way since then! We’ve welcomed grandchildren, retired from our careers, reinvented ourselves and adapted to interesting (right?) changes in our bodies. But does this season of life mean that we’re planning on endless days of sitting in the rocking chair? The answer is a resounding, “No!” We will not take aging sitting down! We never have, and we never will. It’s practically written into our DNA.

We’ve been called “the lucky generation.” We have a special story, with a special beginning. In his blog, Generation Youth: The Baby Boomers and Everyone Else, Lor Gold explains it this way: “Baby boomers grew up in circumstances that previous generations couldn’t have imagined. They were the heirs to something brand new — a modern middle class with the means and freedom to achieve unprecedented self-determination.”

As we came of age, bold, new strategies for product marketing helped define us. We had own music, our own clothing styles and our own vernacular. We were distinct, and we planned to stay young forever. Today, we still have that vibe. It’s what silently communicates to that young person across the Starbucks counter, “I’m as cool as you. I’m just older. And wiser.”

It has been said that we value individuality, see community and social involvement as important and seek creative ways to promote our health and wellness. Furthermore, we are hardworking, self- starters, wish to acquire things and view the future with optimism.

Let’s take these values, combine them with the freedoms that accompany mid-life, add a live-young state of mind and sprinkle generously with wisdom acquired over a lifetime. What kind of lifestyle do you get? According to boomersnextstep.com’s article, 5 Surprising Baby Boomers Lifestyle Trends, here is what is trending in mid-life today:

We have an online presence and are utilizing tools of technology, contrary to some perceptions! Many of us are putting off retirement and continuing to work – but desire a healthy life/work balance. We continue to advance the status of women, many of them being powerful influencers in the workplace, at home and in other social spectrums. We continue to educate ourselves. We are learning in the classroom, online and through other activities. We have a thirst for adventure, which we quench through travel or other fulfilling activities. And I’d like to add my own two cents: we value our friends and family and make time to be with them. Having grown up before selfies and smartphones, we have so much to offer younger generations in the way of human-to-human contact.

All this said, let’s be real. The older we get, the more effort it takes to transform a young state of mind into reality. My husband and I recently spent an afternoon hiking at Mt. Lassen Volcanic National Park. But oh, you should have seen me that morning! Waking in the cold of a rustic, bare-bone cabin, I wondered how I would get my stiff body off that hard mattress and across the floor. This feat was somehow accomplished and later that day there I was on the trail, taking in the scent of green pines and gazing at a white mountain which glistened from last winter’s snow, all beneath a brilliant blue sky. Was this day worth the effort? You bet!

We’re in a great stage of life. We can do things! Let’s care for our minds, our bodies, our relationships and our finances so that we can live young and live fully as much as we can, for as long as we can. I guess we really won’t be young forever, but I know we will make the most of what we’ve got today.

You’re going along in your happy little day when out of the corner of your eye, on a shiny surface, you unexpectedly catch the reflection of your mom or dad. The problem is, you’re not with your mom or dad. Yep, that reflection is you. Perhaps on a different day you’re browsing social media and come across a recent picture of a high school chum that you haven’t seen in years. You can’t believe your eyes; surely this can’t be them! But you know that it is and at that moment, you’re forced to deal with a reality you’ve been pushing to the back of your mind: your own aging. When things like this happen, we experience a “wow” moment about our world and ourselves, and an inner voice exclaims: “Is this really happening!?”

Growing older can feel strange and surreal. Lately I’ve thought about what is really at the heart of these feelings, and I’ve come up with a couple of things that I believe, at least for me, are applicable. Perhaps these will have a familiar ring to them.

The mindset of a generation

I was born into the baby-boom generation, and although I came along during its latter years, I always felt a strong connection to it while growing up. Our generation was defined as “the ‘youth’ generation,” thanks mostly to marketing strategies of the early 1960s. The label stuck – but to grow up during this time meant more than just the wearing of a group label; it was to have a “live young” mindset stamped into one’s consciousness. While my older generational cohorts were celebrating life and dancing freely in Golden Gate Park, I was yet a girl, watching them at home on TV. Still, I felt there was something we shared – an unspoken code which said: “We will always be young and always be cool.” This life-attitude may have begun with boomers, but likely influenced older members of Generation X who followed on our heels and are now are in mid-life themselves. For those of us with this mindset, the thought of growing older seemed so far off, maybe even impossible. But then, “the impossible” happened. The lyrics of Simon & Garfunkel’s “Old Friends” may be ringing in our ears: “How terribly strange to be seventy.”

The old role switcheroo

Boomer roots are not all there is to it, though. Another source of surreal feelings I experience about aging likely stem from the evolution of my life-roles, having gone from “the baby” of my family to taking on tasks or family responsibilities previously performed by sage elders. In younger years, there was a sense of security when the older family members were carrying out family traditions. When the torch was passed to me, I could not help but ask an internal question: “Will I measure up?” One does not need to be the family baby to experience such moments. Regardless of our birth order, if we’re in mid-life, we have transitioned through life-role changes – inside and outside of the family.

Our awareness of aging and the journey we are on resonates on many levels, passing through our consciousness and touching on our perceptions about life, ourselves and our memories. While getting here may have felt like a strange journey, mid-life, or even approaching 70, can be a time of fulfillment, with lots of cool things to do! Please join me in two weeks as we discuss how belonging to a “youth generation” can influence our approach to the life we are living now.

I received a phone call the other day from my daughter, who’s in her late-thirties. Perhaps it was her upcoming birthday that had prompted her mood, but as we chatted she expressed disquieting feelings about her “new phase of life,” and an increasing sense of “losing her youth.” While I replied with sympathy and comfort, my further-down-the-road perspective silently said, “You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.” These thoughts must have somehow come through in my words, because she asked me how on earth I deal with it.

Upon consideration of her question, I replied, “Well honey, I’ve just been doing it longer than you, and after doing it long enough, you get good at adaptation.”

This time we call “mid-life” presents us with a unique set of opportunities. Adaptation to our ever- changing circumstances, which seem to feel stranger with each passing year, is just one of those opportunities. During this period, we experience inner growth and self-discovery about who we really are and what we really want. I’ve been walking this journey of mid-life for a while now and have found it has jewels to offer.

This stage of our life has the power to transform us – but why? Let’s start by looking at what we’ve been through to get here. By the time we’ve arrived, we have lived through many changes. We’ve all had our share of saying goodbye to things we’ve held dear (our youthful physique, for example; our music – oh, the music!), and we’ve said hello to new things along the way (new relationships, new technology – now that requires constant adaptation!) Our parents grew old. We may now be helping to care for them, or we may have already had to tell them goodbye. With our own children grown, we have learned or are still learning to adapt to an empty house and maybe an empty-feeling life, striving to find our purpose again. Or maybe we are wishing we had an empty house. In either case, we are now in the world of adult children, where profound lessons on acceptance, and letting go, can be learned.

Sure, at this age we have challenges, but take heart; the challenges of this period are most certainly accompanied by the jewels of which I speak. Here, we can find an explosion of personal discovery. With reflection, we may understand more than we ever did about our past and what led us to be who we are and where we are. The many experiences we’ve been through and bumps we’ve hit along the way? Living through them has earned us an outpouring of wisdom that helps to light our current path.

In a nutshell, the best news about mid-life is that it puts us at the crossroads of two compelling facts: We are old enough to really know our way around this life.

We are young enough to still influence the people and world around us. If you think that mid-life is something you must merely ride out before entering the next phase, think again. There is so much to know and learn about this time of life; I hope you will join me as we explore this fascinating topic.