Family Helper – Crisis Interventionist
When our children are young, they depend on us for almost everything. Once they’ve grown and begun raising families of their own, they still need us, but in ways quite different from before. As both a parent of adult children and a grandparent, I sometimes think of the role that I play in my family…
The Future is Unwritten
By the time I was in my late 30’s, life had taken me down a path which led to single parenthood, four kids to raise and no college education. Good fortune smiled upon me one day, however, when I landed a clerical job at a local university. The salary was modest, but it was secure,…
When Life Gives You a Do-over
There they are.. the events that sit in your past. Written in stone, unchangeable, because you can’t go back. Between then and now the years have rolled in, evermore shaping your perspective as experiences are pushed further into the rearview mirror. You’ve revisited the scenes in your mind many times and thought that if given…
Finding the Energy to Not be Tired
I’m sure most of us would heartily agree that life has a way of wearing us down. As for myself, there are times when I feel just plain worn out. Yet when I take a closer look at what’s going on, I may realize that I’m not physically tired, I’m just mentally tired. When life…
A Better Year in 2021
When 2020 rolled in a year ago, we literally had no idea what lay ahead was a year which would almost defy description. A year where we would lose loved ones, lose jobs and lose our ability to mingle closely with other people. In the face of difficulty, humanity has a way of showing up…
My Journey to Self-Care
The fact is inevitable: bumps and bruises will come to us in this life and as we encounter them, we’ll develop coping strategies. Over time, strategies may become patterns and in the long run, patterns may emerge that hurt us more than they help us. But making this discovery; having an awareness of what a…
Convincing a Millenial
Recently I enjoyed dinner with my co-worker and friend, “TJ,” at an outdoor venue. Both working from home now, it had been awhile since we’d seen each other and we were anxious to reconnect. TJ is a millennial, and our coming from different generations has made for some interesting dialog in the past. This evening,…
On Mistakes and Regret
You’ve probably realized by now that Mid life is a topic I am passionate about. Yes, I know, the physical aspects of aging are less than desirable. I’ll give you that. But isn’t this an exciting junction where we find ourselves? Old enough to know our way around this life, yet young enough to still…
Conversations We Wish We’d Had
August 18th marked the 100th anniversary of the ratification of the 19th Amendment, which granted women the right to vote (but, for most women of color, the right to vote would not be realized until the passing of the Voting Rights Act of 1965). At the time the Amendment went into effect, my two grandmothers…
Mom’s Box of Memories
At times we may have a person in our life that we love and appreciate, yet a clear perspective on the full impact they make on our life, may elude us. Sometimes this person is our own mom. Without our even asking, moms are there from our first earthly breath. They are with us throughout…
Did Dad Really Have It Figured Out?
I’m one of those people who had a great dad, and believe me, I know how lucky I am. During my growing up years and after, he was a strong and steady presence in our family and in my life. Dad was a positive thinker before positive thinking was popular. He was quiet and humble…
Kind Of Missing My Old Life
Was it I, in a column written a few weeks into the pandemic, who extoled the virtues of working from home? It’s true, fewer cars on the road is helping our environment, and the time we used to dedicate to commuting has freed us up to do new things with our time. As for me,…
Turning the Titanic Around
Click! My photo was snapped by my husband as I posed with my bike. Having just been retrieved from the garage, it had not seen the light of day in some time. That would change today – I was going for a ride! Dressed in a yellow summer blouse and my black and tan stretch…
There Are Some Things We Just Can’t Change
The Covid-19 situation has taken front and center stage of our lives, conversations, even our thoughts. Don’t you find you’re thinking about it or talking about it almost all the time? And while the situation has presented us with some challenges that are new, have life’s other typical problems just gone away? No, I would…
When an Old Friend Finds You
“Hi Cindy this is Deana, your childhood friend.” It took me a few moments to fully process the words staring up from the Messenger app on my phone. When it sank in that this really was Deana, a childhood friend I had met at age four, I wanted to jump with excitement. I had been…
What Will We Carry Forward?
The weather was grey, but I set out on a morning walk down the boulevard of my town. Goal: find a good place to be alone and do some writing. Out in the distance I saw a man walking in the opposite direction, toward me. He was tall and wore long black coattails, boots and…
Well, It’s Sure Been Different
Donning facial coverings (his much cooler than mine), my grandson and I walked into a convenience store. We don’t live together, so we kept six feet of distance between us as we negotiated its narrow aisles. Did the shopkeeper think we were freaks? Or worse yet, that he was about to be the victim of…
All Generations: This is Our Moment
I was born to parents who came of age during World War II. While growing up, my mom told me stories of living with the rationing of gasoline, coffee and other items. My dad served in the Navy, on a cargo ship in the Pacific. No doubt, he faced days where fear and loneliness were…
Our Beautiful Mid-life Tapestry
“Do you think we still live in a youth-worshipping culture?” was the question I asked of my husband the other night. His reply was, “Definitely.” I have to admit I was a little disappointed when his response didn’t line up with my own recent observations and conclusions. Then again, perhaps my eyesight is failing? Or…
We Really Do Need Love
It’s the month of Valentines, and love is in the air. We tend to associate this special occasion withromantic love and our thoughts turn to, if we are lucky enough to have one, our special partner or spouse.Yet there are often other people in our lives from whom we desperately need, perhaps even crave, love…
Must I Change With the Times?
While thinking about this week’s column, I had occasion to mail a snapshot photo, taken of me at Mt. Lassen, to a friend. It was an actual physical picture, to be put into an actual physical envelope and delivered via the U.S. postal service. I began to write a short note of hello to include…
Finding a new vocation
You’ll recall that in my last column we learned the story of Becky, age 64, whose layoff threw her into a state of shock and heartache. Her questions to deal with immediately: how would she manage financially? Would she qualify for unemployment benefits? Should she keep working, or retire? I know you are curious about…
Blindsided in Mid-life
Last time, I shared my story of my midlife career change, which had its trials in the beginning butworked out well for me over time. The new path I was on eventually crossed that of another woman who was experiencing her own midlife career change. Mine had been voluntary; hers was thrust on her by…
Mid-life career change
This stage of life – mid-life – puts its own unique spin on everything we do, and career change is no exception. Changing careers in your twenties or thirties is one thing; career change in your fifties or sixties? It’s a whole different ballgame. Sixties? you ask.. who’s changing careers in their sixties? A lot…
Us and them – the technology gap
When I was young, people were talking about the generation gap. Today, we’re talking about the technology gap. Allow me to share a little story from a few years ago. My husband and I were on a trip to visit our niece in Southern California, and at the time we did not yet have smart…
Technology – it rocked our world
Our world is a very different place than what it was thirty years ago. One aspect of how things have changed is the role of technology in our daily lives. As mid-lifers, we were there to see the dawn of a new era and we’ve watched its evolution into the place it holds today. Young…
Forever Young
If you’ve seen the 1989 movie Parenthood, which starred Steve Martin, you know what a fun and entertaining movie it is! A favorite scene of mine is when Helen, played by Dianne Wiest, witnesses a blow-up between her young, unruly, newly married daughter and her son-in-law, and in the process finds out she’s going to…
Getting older feels strange
You’re going along in your happy little day when out of the corner of your eye, on a shiny surface, you unexpectedly catch the reflection of your mom or dad. The problem is, you’re not with your mom or dad. Yep, that reflection is you. Perhaps on a different day you’re browsing social media and…
Looking for Meaning
Millions of Americans are in their mid-life years, but more and more I’ve come to see a common thread woven through the hearts of those of us who have come to this place: we are asking ourselves, “Does my life have purpose?” There is something about that 50th birthday rolling around (ok 40-somethings, you may…
The Mid-Life Experience
I received a phone call the other day from my daughter, who’s in her late-thirties. Perhaps it was her upcoming birthday that had prompted her mood, but as we chatted she expressed disquieting feelings about her “new phase of life,” and an increasing sense of “losing her youth.” While I replied with sympathy and comfort,…
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